[Carli] Guys, come on.
There are three unmade beds up there.
There's a pile of wet towels on the bathroom floor.
And whoever finger painted toothpaste on the mirror,
"booger" is spelled with two O's.
I told you.
Shh.
That's it. No allowance this week.
You don't give us an allowance.
And now you know why.
Look, could you just hurry up, Uncle Nick?
I have to check my Latin Club e-mails.
Guys, hold up.
You're just in high school.
I'm studying for my degree in community college, all right?
Pretty sure my stuff takes priority here.
Who's Clubbunny26?
Uh-- Oh, she's my tutor.
And you have no idea how much I've learned from her.
[all talking at once]
Hey, guys? Guys? Hey.
Hey!
We haven't talked since we got that stupid computer.
It is important
to start each morning
connecting and focusing on each other as a family.
[computer chimes]
Nick, no. Well, it's for you.
Really?
Well, I better check it.
You know, it's probably business.
What about quality family time?
Later.
If I don't get this chain letter out
to at least seven more people, our luck is never gonna change.
[all groan]
♪ Working Class 1x07 ♪ The Dance Original Air Date on March 4, 2011
♪ This is my day ♪
♪ This is my life ♪
♪ This is my one chance to get it right ♪
♪ This is my day ♪
♪ Yeah, this is my day ♪
-- sync, corrected by elderman --
Okay, guys, time to head out.
Hey, I just got an e-mail from your school.
Apparently they're looking
for last-minute chaperones for the fall dance.
Why didn't you guys tell me there was a school dance tomorrow night?
That's a big deal in a new school, right?
Seeing that special someone
across a crowded gymnasium.
Squatting until your thighs burn
so the boys won't know you're taller than them.
Getting butterflies in your stomach so bad
that you have to throw up in your purse.
I had rough Spring Fling.
Yeah, but you did win that fist fight with Kimmy Kowalski.
You don't dance with my date. Oh, right.
What's the deal, Pam? Aren't you excited?
I can't go. I'm totally swamped. Oh.
I've got a biology paper due on Monday.
Oh, honey, that's too bad.
Well, what if I help?
Do you know anything about prokaryotic cell nucleoids?
Okay, you're not going. Yeah.
Hey, Scott, what about you? [grunting]
I'm just going with some football buddies. Oh.
Oh, and I need to borrow the car.
[laughing]
Oh, you're serious? Yeah, that's not gonna happen, okay?
Come on, guys. Let's go. You're gonna be late.
Let's go. All right.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
I love you!
Make good choices!
Mom, why can't I drive? I got a A-plus in driver's ed.
Which only means if you apply yourself,
you can bring up that C-minus you're getting in algebra.
That's not my fault. I have ADD.
No, Scott. You can't A-D-D.
Anyway, Mom, I'm a really good driver, okay?
Tell her, Uncle Nick.
Yeah, he knows what he's doing, Carli.
He even put on his hazards when I had him slow down
so I could chat up that cute jogger.
[scoffs] Seriously, Mom,
you gotta trust me sometime.
We learned in driver's ed that under-confident drivers
get in more accidents.
Yeah. So, your call.
Okay. You can drive.
But I am gonna chaperone the dance,
and I will be checking your pupils every half hour,
and if I see anything I don't like,
I'm gonna make you dance with me in front of your friends.
Oh, yeah.
And what? What?
Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.
Fine. Okay. [grunting]
Yeah. Oh, and, Nick,
you are staying home on Saturday night
to babysit Will so I can chaperone.
What? Oh, come on, Carli.
I have a date with Tiffany on Saturday.
I don't want to spend all night cutting up someone's food
and then having to play cute games to get them to eat it.
Well, perfect.
Then you can stay home with Will.
Morning, Carli.
Good morning, boss. [beeps]
Ow. [chuckles]
So how we doing today?
We have already sold out of pastries twice,
the Ethiopian coffee is a hit,
and the delivery guy came early.
It's all Gouda.
"All gooda"?
[laughing] That's funny.
No, actually, all he delivered was Gouda.
[phone ringing]
Oh. Okay.
Oh, hey, baby, I'm on my way.
Just checking in with an employee.
Yeah, just a minute.
Anything else?
Um, yeah,
but hopefully it would take more than a minute.
[bell dings]
Hi.
Can I help you? Oh.
Brooke, hi.
It's Carli.
We met at the school parent night.
Our kids-- they're in the same class.
Right. I remember you.
Big hair, dangly earrings.
You made Principle Martin fall off the stage during his speech.
Well, lesson learned.
Don't wear a miniskirt when you're sitting in the front row.
[chuckles]
And brush up on your CPR.
Oh. Clear.
Zzt. [chuckles]
So how about a Caesar salad?
Ah. Sure. You got it.
And I will throw in a cupcake for your daughter.
No. No. Danielle isn't eating carbs.
We want her to fit in her dress for the dance.
Wait. I-- I thought the girls couldn't go to the dance.
I thought they had a biology paper due on Monday.
That was due today.
Mrs. Perkins had them turn it in before the weekend so they could go.
Isn't Pam going?
She is now.
[beeping]
[rattling]
Stuck again.
Would you mind taking your change in Gouda?
You know, sweetie, I've just been thinking,
and I don't think it's fair that you have to miss the dance.
Not fair? It's practically child abuse.
I'm gonna organize a protest.
I'm gonna e-mail all the moms on the class list right now.
Subject line-- "Let our daughters dance."
Okay, Mom. Game over. You got me.
There is no paper.
I just don't wanna go to the dance, okay?
Well, so, why didn't you just tell me that?
And, Pam, why don't you wanna go to the dance?
I mean, you have been waiting for this your whole life.
Remember when you were little
and you'd make me read you that part in Cinderella
where she goes to the ball over and over again?
Cinderella didn't have to wear the same dress
she's been wearing since 7th grade.
It hardly even fits anymore.
Well, on the plus side, the taller you get,
the close it gets to a miniskirt.
Mom, you don't get it.
All the girls here wear these fancy clothes.
If I wear that old dress, I'm gonna look stupid
in front of J-- [clears throat]
Oh!
Well, that explains it.
Pam Mitchell, you have got a crush on a boy.
Oh, my gosh, who is it? Is it Josh Tanner? Max Morris?
Mom, please, this is embarrassing enough as it is.
Okay. I'm sorry. I'm just-- just being a mom.
Okay. Pam, you shouldn't have to miss the dance.
How about you and I go shopping for a new dress?
Really? Because I saw the perfect one at a boutique
for only, like, $100.
Ooh. Hold on there, Paris Hilton.
By "new," I meant new to you.
[chuckles] Thrift shopping.
Mom! Oh, honey, trust me.
In a rich town like this, people give away
all sorts of great stuff to the thrift store.
And then we'll get you a free makeover at the Macy's counter
by pretending we're actually gonna buy something.
Wear your running shoes. Thanks, Mom.
Okay. Cool.
Can I get my ears pierced?
It's a dance, not your wedding.
♪ [rock] [chattering]
Come on, Pam.
See?
The boys are in here.
And if you don't mind a little acne,
the world's your oyster.
Hey, ladies. Hi, Brooke.
See? This is gonna be fun.
And who knows?
You know, maybe tonight both of us will find our Prince Charming.
Oh, my gosh. He's right over there.
[Carli] Josh Tanner?
Oh, honey, he is cute!
And look.
He's alone at the punch bowl
just like an antelope at a watering hole
separated from his herd,
young and vulnerable, not sensing danger.
Bring him down.
Mom, I can't go over there.
There are a million reasons to talk yourself
out of not going for something that you want in this world.
But I'm telling you right now, if you don't at least try,
you're gonna kick yourself later.
Okay?
Mom, hello!
You're acting spacey.
Did you accidentally take cold medicine with Chablis again?
Huh?
No.
And that was once,
and it was my birthday.
Now, come on. Shoo.
Go over there and talk to him before he starts puberty
and he has to start shaving his shoulders.
Mom! Sorry.
I'm bored, Uncle Nick. Can you play a game?
One sec. I'm talking to some of my lady friends.
It's grown-up stuff.
But I am grown up.
I don't even need a stool to aim in the toilet anymore.
Excellent point, my man.
Come on. Check this out.
I'm chatting with three very beautiful,
very intelligent women.
I don't like girls.
Yet. But you will.
You know what? For now, let's think of them
as ice-cream flavors.
Now, would you rather have one scoop or three?
Three, altogether, with a banana.
[laughing] Yeah, that's harder to pull off than you think, buddy.
But you get the point.
So, all three of these lovely ladies--
they wanna go on a date with me next Friday.
So what do I do? Pick one.
No. No, no. That's not dancing the dance.
Watch and learn. [inhaling deeply]
[knuckles crack] First, I tell Clubbunny26
that I have sound mixing at 8,
but I'll meet her at 5.
Then I tell YogaButterfly
that I have sound mixing at 11,
but I'll meet her at 8.
And finally,
I tell 36doubleDelight
that I will swing by at 11 after I study for sound mixing.
[click] And it is on.
[laughs] That, my young friend,
is dancing the dance.
I like talking to you, Uncle Nick.
You're a lot smarter than I thought.
Well, thanks.
I might not be able to spell "booger," but I have my moments.
[chattering]
[laughter]
Hey.
Car keys, now.
What? I didn't do anything.
Oh, come on, Scott. You think I was born yesterday?
When was the last time you drank grape soda, huh?
All right.
It's grape soda.
There's something else that's not alcohol.
Jimmy took a sip, okay?
He had onion rings earlier.
Yeah, that's it. All right.
But I'm gonna be keeping my eye
on all of you.
And I'm gonna be keeping my eye on you, Mrs. Mitchell.
Hey, that was totally inappropriate, young man.
But thank you.
Oh-- Hey.
I thought that was you. What are you doing here?
I'm chaperoning. My kids go to Eastwood.
Wow. You look...
way too young to have kids in high school.
Well, we don't need to do that math, but here I am.
What about you? Oh, I'm here dedicating the new gymnasium.
My family donated money to the school to build it.
You gave them a gym? Yeah.
Well, I donated the napkins,
so I hope there's room for both of our names on that plaque.
[both chuckle]
It's nice to see you.
Yeah.
Well, I'll let you get back to chaperoning. Okay.
Hey, do you wanna grab some punch?
Sure.
Why not?
You're really funny.
How come I haven't seen you at any parties?
I don't know. Maybe I'm socially like two electrons.
Repellent?
[laughs] More like a proton and electron--
attractive.
[Girl] Pam, hi.
Hi, Danielle.
I love your dress.
Really? Thanks.
Do you mind if I take a look at the label to see who makes it?
I'd love to get one for myself.
No. Go ahead.
It looks like I already did get one for myself.
What do you mean?
I mean, before my mom donated it to the thrift store.
This dress still has my initials in it from when I went to camp.
Did you even wash it?
[laughter]
♪ [slow tempo]
Touchdown.
But will he go for the extra point?
Ooh! Denied.
That's gotta hurt, Rob.
Mom.
Excuse me. Yeah? Can we go?
What happened? [Danielle laughing]
Did those girls do something mean to you?
This dress was Danielle's.
Oh, no.
She called me a Dumpster diver in front of Josh.
Now I can never talk to him again.
Hey, Danielle,
what you just did to Pam--
that was just mean.
And you all standing behind her,
you don't think she's gonna turn on you, too?
Trust me,
you gain a few pounds, or--
or that peach fuzz on your face turns into a full-blown goatee,
you're next.
Is there a problem here?
Yeah, Brooke, actually, there is.
Your daughter said some very hurtful things to Pam.
I don't know what she's talking about.
Well, someone's lying.
It's not Danielle.
That's not the way I raised her.
Meaning Pam was raised that way?
All I'm saying is, being a stay-at-home mom,
I was around to teach Danielle right from wrong.
Obviously, you didn't have that luxury.
Or any luxury. [laughing]
You know what, Brooke?
I do owe your daughter an apology,
because the only reason
she's acting like a mean, nasty, little witch
is because she's following your example.
You know what, Brooke? We may not have a lot of money, okay?
But, you know, we do have something that you don't have,
and that, my friend, is class.
[gasps]
She took a swing at me. Did you see that?
What? Please.
If I took a swing at you, you'd be on your ass.
Oh, hey. I thought you'd left already.
I just came to get my sister for the dedication.
Uh, I'm sorry. Have you met Brooke?
[laughs]
I believe I have.
Hey, pretty lady, how was the dance?
My life is over.
Pam, honey!
Come on. Come talk to me.
What's going on?
What is wrong with this town?
And is everyone related?
Seriously, what happened?
The dress that Pam wore to the dance
used to belong to another girl in her class.
She made fun of her.
What's the girl's name? I will date her mother
and dump her.
These kids here have so much.
And my kids-- they don't have anything.
They have you.
Did I just set them up for failure by bringing them here?
At least where we used to live, they weren't judged
by where their mom worked or what kind of clothes they wore.
Yeah, and Scott was getting into trouble all the time,
and school wasn't challenging for Pam,
and Will didn't have a yard to play in.
I mean, on the plus side, he was in the background
of three episodes of Cops.
[chimes] It's for Pam.
Who's Tanner13?
Oh, my gosh.
That's that boy that she likes. Should we read it?
What if he says something mean about her?
Well, I'll date his mom, too.
I swear, I'll do it.
Seriously, Uncle of the Year.
Pam, honey,
there's a message down here from Josh.
[Pam squeals] Oh.
That either means she's excited, or the mice are back.
Where's the computer?
Now, Pam,
I just want you to remember, honey,
you are Pam Mitchell, and you are just perfect the way you are
no matter what he says in that e-mail.
Oh, my God.
He is so dead.
He said he had fun with me.
I love Tanner13.
And he thinks it's cool
that I shop at thrift stores.
And he wants to go out sometime.
Can I go?
Oh, honey, of course you can.
Thank you. Oh, gosh.
Oh, I can't wait till we can afford a video camera
so we can record stuff like this.
Wait. I have to write him back. What do I say?
Well, just tell him that you want to go out with him.
Okay. Hold up.
No, Mom.
She should play it cool. Make him sweat.
You know, dance the dance.
"Dance the dance"?
Come on, buddy. I'm gonna tell you a bedtime story. Good night, sweetie.
Can you tell me that one about the cheerleader with the big pom-poms again?
And we're off.
Help me, Mom. What do I say first?
Well, anything accept, "Hey, nice dirt bike."
That's how I ended up with your father
and a shattered ankle.
And you.
Okay. Now, remember.
You need to call me the minute the movie gets out.
And don't forget to get gas.
And, Scott, I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry
for overreacting the other night.
I do trust you.
So my curfew can be after midnight now?
I'm proud, not in a coma.
Oh. Okay, shoo, shoo.
I don't need anyone reminded
that I have a kid old enough to drive.
Just go. Go, go, go, go.
I love you.
Who's that?
Oh, my son.
He's eight. He's just real tall.
Um, listen, about what happened
at the dance the other night.
Yeah, I heard about all that.
Yeah, have you ever drank Chablis with cold medicine?
I'm telling you, if you do, you do not remember a thing--
My sister's a total nightmare.
Ooh. Frankly I'm glad somebody besides me
finally told her off.
Really?
Oh gosh. What a relief.
Well, umm... I should probably go.
- Oh. - Yeah.
I had fun hanging out with you at the dance.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was fun.
Hey, Ron.
Gooda bye.
Yeah.
Oh shoot.
Oww!
-- sync, corrected by elderman --